When a relationship ends, it’s never easy. You’ve invested time and energy. You’ve allowed your mind to roam into that wishful territory; that unsafe ground that lends itself to tomorrow. You live in the moment, but you also live for the future.
…I’ll even venture so far as to say that the fantasy is half the fun. In some ways, it’s what drives a romantic connection.
In order to stay invested, you have to see more, want more and feel more. It surpasses reality. And in a lot of ways, it transcends truth.
So it should not come as a surprise that when it ends… if it ends… there is real pain. The fall to reality is not a cushioned blow. It shakes every ounce of your body that allowed itself to float. It hurts and it’s… well… a little tragic.
But if we don’t ever give ourselves permission to get carried up && away… we’ll miss out on far more than just a possible relationship.
…We’ll miss out on an opportunity for romantic love, self-love, growth and movement. Our hearts deserve to feel deep, passionate, all-consuming love. And we won’t find that if we’re forever guarded.
But, if it ends…
There are some things that I’ve learned over time. They won’t make the break-up (or near break-up) any less painful, but they will help to bring you closer to closure.
~* I promise *~
- Speak your mind.
I live my life to have ZERO regrets. This attempt makes me vulnerable. It makes me wordy. It causes me to extend myself in ways that might not be reciprocated. But, when it’s all said and done, I know that I’ve said and done all that I could. There is nothing worse than feeling as though you missed an opportunity due to pride. If you have to apologize for something, apologize. If you want someone to know how you feel about them, tell them. You may still cry yourself to sleep if things don’t go your way–but you’ll eventually rest easy, knowing that you tried.
2. Why didn’t he like me?
You CAN ask yourself this question. In fact, we all probably do at some point; even if it’s clouded, buried in our subconscious. Our motives for pondering this may vary… but ultimately, if you delve into those thoughts, you’ll find a takeaway. You’ll wander into a reflective state; even if it’s unintentional. And you’ll learn something about yourself. Something you could work on. Something you could strengthen. You’ll find a flaw that you never knew was there. Or you’ll decide that you’re quite committed to certain aspects of your personality that others might not take to. Whatever you do and whatever you feel… OWN IT. Then forgive yourself. For everything.
3. He will want you.
After you’ve gone through those phases. After you’ve tried to make it work, and after you’ve accepted that it won’t… there is one thing you must realize. The man who God has set aside for you will want you. He will want you. There is not an argument… not a conversation or point of contention… not a flaw… not a bad day… and not a misunderstanding… that can cause it all to crumble. Your person will be able to withstand the parts of you that send others running.
Your person will want you… regardless. And you will want him.
And your communication will thrive because of that wishful thinking… Because of that idea of tomorrow… Because of that fantasy… Because you both are floating. Because your truth is not in touch with reality.
Because you are both living for the future.
And that will be half the fun.
Love… it’s inevitable,