This year I made a lot of changes. They weren’t easy, but they were all things that I either wanted or felt that I needed to do.
First change: Drinking. I dropped it. (Wine not included)
This was a hard one to give up because alcohol was literally like my boyfriend. I didn’t have an AA-type addiction or anything like that. I wasn’t an emotional drinker. I just really, really loved it. The smell, the taste, the look. 😮 It was all that. In fact, it got to the point where bartenders and waiters knew me for the drinks I ordered at their specific establishments. It was so real.
Anyway… back in January, I felt like God was telling me to quit. I had no idea why because I truly did not feel that I needed to. But, after a while, I knew I had to listen.
It was so hard. I even came across an old Instagram picture of me holding a Brooklyn Ice Tea from the bar, Milk, in Brooklyn and had a complete breakdown. Seriously, it was like a breakup. I thought that because it was so difficult, maybe I loved it more than I loved God—which I knew wasn’t true… but it was what I felt. So I was really hard on myself.
I prayed on it and asked God to take the load off of my shoulder. I heard Him tell me that I would fail and that it would be OK. He told me that my only job was to try. It was so comforting. I asked that He take away my desire for alcohol.
For the past 8 months, I’ve asked many a bartender to make me something “Sweet and virgin.” Sounds SO weird though.
And so I learned to truly trust two of the simplest little lessons ever; and they’ve changed my life.
I take leaps of faith into God’s arms. I go to Him first. I let Him handle what I can’t.
I take baby steps. …&& I don’t trip when I fall.